Fallen Angel

Cruising altitude.

Darkness covers the sky,

the city below just an ant farm,

decorated with Christmas lights.

I fly as if I’d been born with these wings,

these pearly white propellers of flight.

Barrel rolls and dives and turns,

making even the most exhilarating roller coaster jealous.

How am I so lucky

To receive this gift of flight?

Hovering above my leg ridden companions,

Soaring through the air with the best of them.

But like a gambler out of luck,

This joy ride soon came to an end.

My coveted wings vanished,

Inexplicably,

Inevitably,

The ants got bigger,

The lights,

brighter.

I’d probably still be falling,

if it weren’t for the ground below.

I opened my eyes

to the sound of my own screaming.

Man wasn’t meant to fly.

Susan Bordo Blog

Rohlinger, Deanna A. "Eroticizing Men: Cultural Influences on Advertising and Male Objectification" Sex Roles. Vol 46. Nos 3/4. 2002

In the article, Eroticizing Men: Cutural Influences on Advertising and Male Objectification describes how men have slowly become portrayed in sexual contexts in advertisements. Before, it was just women who were the subjects of such ads, and now, as the buying power of the homosexual community is being recognized, men are being portrayed the same way. This article provides the evidence of the increase of such ads, evidence that Susan Bordo could use to prove her point even more about the increase in male objectivity in today's advertisements.

DFW "Address to Kenyon College"

“JJ, how do you stay so calm? How do you not let things piss you off?” A friend asks of my reserved demeanor in reaction to a penalty called on me during a football game.

                “Well, think about the situation and ask yourself, what can you do about it? You know, how can you react? And how will the situation respond to your reaction?” It’s hard, but for the most part, that is how I think. In that specific circumstance, reacting, or complaining about the call would have done absolutely nothing. I have never seen a ref change his mind on a call because of what a player or coach says to him. It would have been a waste of time and energy on both of our parts. I would not have gained anything from the encounter, and so I just walked away.

                I’m driving on the highway with a buddy of mine and a car swerves in front of me from my right hand side. I slam on my brakes and brace for impact, but it never comes. The car speeds ahead without incidence. My friend reaches over and honks the horn. He looks at me and asks, “Why didn’t you do anything?” My response, “I pressed the brakes, what else could I have done to change anything?” We continue driving, eventually passing the “wrongdoer.” My friend raises his middle finger to the driver: to each his own.

I haven’t always been this way; in fact, when I was younger I was quite the troublemaker, reacting to things immediately and usually in a way that was followed by serious repercussion. My “default setting” seemed to be just a little more primal than most my age. Without going through too much detail, one day my mother got through to me (or maybe it was the leather belt?), and I decided to change, to change the way I acted by thinking before I acted, disciplining myself, and making myself aware of both how myself and others were affected by the choices I made. It’s almost cliché but now I approach anger with laughter, toughness with kindness, and hate with love.

It’s a tough process. It’s a process that takes time, a process that takes patience, a process that I’ve been working on for a long time. It has almost become second-nature, but I’m not going to lie, I do slip up every now and then. Sometimes I do revert back to my “default setting”, but when I do, I make note of it. I look back at the circumstances and ask myself how my reaction could’ve been different and if I could’ve somehow guided the situation into a better outcome. It’s a process that isn’t used enough in today’s world.

In today’s world, it’s pretty tough to pull this off because there are so many times that you’re put in a situation where you’re not given time to think; sometimes you’re not even given the option to think. “Give me the first word that comes to your head.” I’m sure everyone has been in situation where they were asked what happened. What went wrong? And their response has been, “I don’t know, I just kind of acted, I wasn’t really thinking.” Pause.

Take the time to think for a second, you might be surprised by the outcome.

Acrophobia

I Inhale deeply.

Exhale.

My breath visible,

ghostly.

I glance up at the sky,

clear.

The whitest flakes of snow

float softly down from above,

disappearing below my numb feet.

Goosebumps and a shiver,

Is it from the fear or from the cold?

Voices.

I can’t discern the shouts from below.

My name?

Are they beckoning me?

Trying to stop me?

I’ve already come this far.

I take one more deep breath.

The cold air hurts my lungs.

My eyelids shut out my surroundings.

I leap forward.

Icy air rushes past me,

freezing my body,

time,

everlasting.

.           .           .

Splash.

Icy waters swallow my body whole.

My head breaks the surface.

With one final deep breath,

I inhale accomplishment,

exhale fear.

The "Banking" Concept of Education

The “Banking” concept of education is, as I have interpreted, sit down, be quiet, and I’ll tell you everything you need to know. Students go to class, listen to their instructor for an hour, and they’re on to the next “teacher,” someone to fill them up with knowledge that they do not quite understand. But somehow it’s okay because they know all the information they need to know to do well on next week’s exam. What about life?

I mean, our goal as human beings is ultimately to succeed at life and be happy, right? Whether that means making six figures, having a Mercedes-Benz and a big house or becoming a grade school teacher because you just love kids, we all aim to be happy. And while we are taught that if you do well in school, you will succeed, I cannot count how many times people have told me, “once I got to the workforce, they told me to forget everything I learned, it’s no use here.” We are taught to take exams, to spit back information by bubbling in fifty little circles on a piece of paper. But we as people do not just walk around regurgitating information we learned for a test. Rather, we apply, we adapt, we are constantly taking in information from our environment and we use that information to affect that environment. It’s a lot different than just filling out a scantron.

In my time spent here at the University of Florida, I have got to say that my most interesting classes, and the ones I learned the most from, have been the ones where I have had my hands in the curriculum: my labs. To this day I can take a random person, gather information about them, perform some baseline exercise tests, and design and administer a workout plan for them, because in my Exercise Prescription class, we spent hours doing hands-on simulations, experience that prepared me for real life situations, not a test. Until our professors and instructors start preparing us accordingly, life will be our best teacher.

C.S.J.

We greeted with a handshake,

unsure if more was appropriate.

It felt as if I were gripping sandpaper.

I had always said I’d find him someday,

but this is not what I had imagined.

I remember welcoming hugs,

and hearty laughter.

I remember being tossed into the air,

knowing with all my heart he’d catch me.

I remember the tickle monster,

who was relentless with his attack,

always bringing me to the brink of wetting myself.

I remember thinking this is who I want to be when I grow up.

But now,

His choice of cologne?

Whiskey.

His full head of thick black hair,

now receding

with the grays beating out the blacks for territorial dominance.

His once infectious smile,

now infected.

White, black, white, white, black.

He did always like to play the piano.

I should have left him lost,

is this what I’m destined to become?

Research Prospectus

While I am still kind of torn between three different topics for my research paper, at this point in time I am leaning towards writing about the healthcare system. More specifically, how much does the healthcare system really want us to become a healthier America?

We as Americans are constantly bombarded with facts about how fat our nation is, surrounded by healthier options at the supermarket, restaurants, commercials, and even pop-ups on the internet. We get the point, we are unhealthy and we need to change. So we make these changes, we start to exercise regularly, we eat healthier, we take care of ourselves. Then what happens? Obesity, diabetes, hyperglycemia, heart disease, the occurrence all of these diseases slowly starts to fall. Where would that put our healthcare providers? The healthcare industry accounted for 16% of the gross domestic product in the United States in 2008, the largest percentage in the world, and provides Americans with over thirty-five million jobs. That is an incredible number, a number bound to go down if America gets healthier. The healthier our nation becomes, the less need we will have for nurses, doctors, therapists, and the like, so those jobs will be cut back. If people are not getting sick, not suffering from these obesity-related diseases, less money will undoubtedly be spent on healthcare. Less jobs? Less money? Who thinks healthcare providers want that? If anything, I would say that they want to prevent that. When researching this topic I am going to have to come up with some solid evidence. Preliminary research has provided me with some information on the link between the rise in obesity and its related diseases, healthcare expenditure, and the increase in the healthcare workforce, which includes lawyers, administrators, and stockholders. If these healthcare businesses really wanted to make a difference, if they really cared about our health, they would do something about it. They have the resources: lobbying power, connections, and money. The healthcare industry is worth billions upon billions of dollars, and they have enough sway to the point where if they wanted something to be done, they could get it done. In 2008, the healthcare industry spent $480 million to lobby the federal government on healthcare policy. Why isn’t this money invested in organic farming, into placing gyms in businesses, or into forcing fast food to be healthier, into preventative measures? These are points that more of my research needs to be done on. How exactly can the industry use its money? Can the money even go towards these issues? I know these businesses have to make money somehow, but if the name of the industry is healthcare, then put your money where your mouth is and show that you care about our health.

                Again, I haven’t gotten too far into the process on this topic, maybe it’s not in the industry’s power to do some of the things mentioned above. But if they can, I’m going to find out.

The Pain Scale

Pain is relative. At least that much we're sure of. A heavyweight boxer takes a blow to the chin and doesn't seem phased, but the average person, if he's not knocked out, would run home crying to his mommy. The pain scale is supposed to be a more definitive way to "measure" the relativity of your pain. So why is it that we're so unsure of it? I have taken this number line quiz before, seemingly an easy "A" as there is no wrong answer, and yet I was still confused as to which answer to choose. When I asked the ER attendant for a little more guidance  he told me that a 10 on this scale represented the pain from giving child birth. Now, I've never experienced giving child birth, and honestly something tells me it's not even in the cards for me, so instead of making my decision based on a pain I had experienced, I thought about Katherine Heigl giving birth to a child in "Knocked Up", Dr. Huxtable asking how far apart are they? and the alien giving birth in "Men in Black." What did any of this have to do with my pain? Nothing. So I sat there, with a throbbing mouthful of bloody gauze, and circled "4". Why 4? I still don't know. But to the ER attendant, it probably meant the pain I was feeling was just under half the pain someone feels when a child comes screaming out of their birth canal...

That didn't seem too bad, seemed like an 8 to me..

My problem with the pain scale, at least from my experience, is that the doctor probably knows what's wrong with you, even without that information. I was sitting in an ER bleeding non-stop from my mouth, went through the whole ER process, just for the doctor to tell me 6 hours later that I needed stitches, something I'd realized before I even left for the hospital. In my situation, the pain scale was completely useless. I would've thought if someone is gushing blood, it wouldn't matter how much it hurt, just reduce the blood loss, and the suffering, and stitch them up. What might be more useful is the type of pain that the patient is feeling. Throbbing, stabbing, that sort of thing. That information along with the location of the pain is usually enough information for the doctor to decide what needs to be done next, if anything. Maybe I'm just bias though...

Broken

Loss in Translation

Why does my chest feel so heavy

When there’s nothing weighing it down?

Simply thoughts running through my mind,

Mental exercise?

But if my mind is so fit

Why is it that all I can do is

Stutter,

Stutter,

Stutter,

When my mouth begins to utter

Anything at all,

When I’m around you?

I must be mistaken,

These words aren’t simple at all,

They are complex words of love

That have got my heart,

Tongue-twisted,

Happy yet stressed,

Crippled yet blessed.

If only these words truly described

How I feel inside.

Because right now my heart is talking

And I’m the translator,

The scribe,

But there’s one problem,

I don’t speak

Heartbeat.

And so there’s a slight

Miscommunication

Because of a loss in translation.

So when I say the words

I,

Love,

You,

They are not just words

Being formed by my lips,

But rather words that come

From my depths,

My gut,

My bones,

My soul,

My heart.

And just in case you missed it,

That weight has finally been lifted,

I love you…

Research Blog

I think the key to choosing the right topic for a research paper is to find something that really interests you, something that you're passionate about, and then dig deeper. And when you think you've found gold, dig even deeper. I am an Applied Physiology and Kinesiology, also known as APK, major at the University of Florida, and while the name may sound fancy, it's really just exercise science. I wouldn't go so far as to say I'm really passionate about the curriculum of such a major, but I am pretty interested in it. I'm fascinated by how the body works, how it adapts, how in the most extreme circumstances, even the scrawniest kid on the playground can become Popeye the sailor. I chose this major because it gives you a pretty in-depth look at how and why the human body is capable of doing the things it does. An APK student also gains the understanding of the importance of exercise and how it contributes to the overall well-being of someone. Less stress, better mood, healthier weight, and better physique are all benefits of exercise. Exercise also helps to reduce blood pressure, reduce your chances of heart disease, stroke, it helps to reduce depression. It's like the multi-vitamin for your daily life. If everyone knew this information, if everyone exercised, how much healthier could we be as a nation? People say "Oh, I don't have enough time" or "nah, I'm just gonna watch some television." No, no, no, no, get up and do something. Run, swim, bike, walk, dance, push-ups, sit-ups, chase the kids around the house, do some jumping jacks, do anything to get your heart pumping. According to the Centers for Disease Control and prevention, one third of U.S. adults are obese as of 2010. The 2010 census reported over 308 million U.S. citizens. Do the math, that's over 100 million obese people in the United States. That's billions of pounds of diabetes, heart disease, gout, and billions of dollars for the healthcare industry. How many healthcare business actually care about our health? Some of them don't really care as long as their pockets stay thick. Money is a powerful thing. It can sometimes blind those from what truly matters..

Never Forget